the never-ending math equation
In my mind, going out (at least in HSV) does generally suck when compared to seemingly mundane activities such as sitting around an apartment with a group of friends and playing video games, cards, board games, watching movies, talking, etc. My main reason for going out with you guys is because I genuinely enjoy hanging out with you all. I like spending my free-time from work and school with you guys. I'm very happy to have found a group of guys who share a lot of the same intrests as I do, who make me laugh and sometimes laugh at my bad jokes and eccentric actions, who I regard as intelligent, kind-hearted, interesting, caring, and fun people. So, when you guys want to go out, I want to go out too -- so that we can all hang out together. I'm sure you all feel pretty much the same way. The thing is, though... there seems to often be a feeling of distaste for going out among members of HPP... yet we still continue to do it. Like I said, the main reason that I have for going out (hanging out with you guys) could be just as easilly fulfilled by hanging out at someone's apartment. Although, there are also times when going out is lots of fun. I found myself wondering what (besides hanging out together) are our reasons for going out to clubs and bars. I can't, of course, speak for anyone other than myself -- So, I have to analyze this question from just my point of view and just make guesses as to how this could apply to anyone else.
When you break it down, the motives for going out on the town (as opposed to just hanging out) include the following:
a) looking for women
b) getting drunk
c) listening to good music
theoretically, if a woman is found, drunkeness is achieved, and good music is heard -- it should be a perfect night, eh?
a + b + c = a good time
(of course, for high values of b, 1/2c should do just fine, and a can even be omitted.)
Here's the problem with that (for me at least):
a) I'm not looking for a one-night stand, and I don't think any of you guys are either. It's not really that easy to have a good conversation at a loud bar, and almost impossible at a dance club. Even if you do get 'play' while you're out (dancing or at a bar) it's impossible to completely ignore the fact that the entire interaction is superficial. You most likely haven't had any kind of conversation with this person, and probably won't. You've succeeded in filling variable 'a' of the above equation, but something is still missing. Uncle R summed this up pretty much perfectly last night when he leaned over to me at Sammy T's and said "There are a whole lot of hot girls here, but they seem to be missing something... like a soul."
Let's try to fix the problem with variable 'a' in the equation. (This is just for the single HPP members, I'll get to my take on you attached guys later):
I don't want just any girl. I don't want just any HOT girl. I don't want just any INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS girl. You want good, rewarding companionship, just like every other human being roaming this planet. I must realize that due to society's constructs, soon many of my friends will start doing the holy matrimony hustle and will ultimately have a family of their own. Therefore, I realized that the companionship that I recieve (and value very much) from my friends will not always be sufficient. Please don't get me wrong, I am not in any way belittling the value of friendship... it's everything to me. I'm just recognizing that platonic friends are not life-long partners -- they're not going to provide that lifetime of day in, day out, companionship. They're not going to be waiting for me at my house when I get home every day. I also realize that it seems the best way to achieve a lifetime of this rewarding companionship that I (and everyone else admittingly or not) is searching for seems to be marriage. Right? Given this and being that i am a heterosexual male, like all of us, I'm hoping to some day meet a female that will be able to provide this lifetime of rewarding companionship to me and I likewise to her. Now, the number of variables required for this interaction between two people to be benefitial (rewarding) for both people would be impossible to figure out. This is love; this is why love can be so confusing. This is what I'm looking for find in a girl, and I'm honestly not too interested in anything else. Now, it is confusing... it's almost impossible to actively SEARCH successfully for someone that meshes this well with you. This is why you hear so often that "you'll meet the girl of your dreams when you're not even looking for her" or some variation thereof. The hunt for love more often than not proves to be disappointing, frustrating, and depressing. And although I couldn't possibly write a formula for love, I can say that I don't believe going to a bar or club increases the probability of achieving it any more than going to the laundromat or stubbing your toe on the steps to your apartment. That's why when we go out, I'm not really looking to meet a girl -- and any interaction that does occur just seems worthless. That's not to say that this aspect of going out makes going out less enjoyable to me; It is to say that it is not necessary to me. What I'm proposing is that this aspect of the equation can (and should) be thrown completely out. It's no longer on my list of motives for going out. It can be fun, but its not as fun as say... ultimate. :) Going out with the intentions/hopes of meeting a girl can't do much more than lead to disappointment. If it happens to happen, cool!
As for you guys that do have girlfriends, variable 'a' probably SHOULDN'T apply to you, but I can see how it still could somewhat without being immoral. Casual flirting, especially when reciprocated, is fun -- and can be 'harmless' fun if you honestly see it as just that. This is not deniable... IT'S FUN! However, from my own past experience, I have noticed that casual flirting while attached doesn't, of course, lose that feeling of superficiality that makes me deem it an unfit motive for going out, but it does add a little bit of guilt to it after-the-fact, and the worthlessness of the whole activity is quadroopledoubled. In other words, I'm sure it wasn't really a motive in the first place for you attached guys, but if it was (in that harmless way,of course), I can see how this could possibly be a reason for that overall disatisfied feeling at the end of a night on the town that you guys (some vocally) seem to be experiencing. So again, 'a', in my mind, is a bad motive.
So, what I have left for my reasons for going out are :
b) getting drunk
c) listening to good music
Lets look at variable 'b' :
b) When analyzed by itself, apart from any other varibles, variable 'b' would only be a motive for complete dumbasses. The price of maintaining a good buzz out on the town is incredibly high. It's also a lot harder than doing so in the comfort of your own home. You have to fight through crowds of drunken men and women everytime you need another drink. So, it's much more difficult and much, much, much more expensive to get drunk when going out. I know what you're thinking though -- "You can't analyze that variable by itself, because we go out to get drunk and __________, or get drunk and ____________! Nobody goes out just to get drunk and then go home!" Well, remember though, we're thinking about reasons for going out as opposed to just hanging out... so I would only be able to fill in those blanks with the motives that I already listed. I've already gotten rid as variable 'a' as one of my motives, so what's left to fill in the blank is getting drunk and listening to good music. Now, this is great. I love it. It's fun. It's one of my favorite activities, and therefore, I can see why the rediculous price of getting a good buzz while listening to good, live music can be overlooked and does not reduce 'b' to being nothing but a bad motive like hunting for girls, however....
c) THERE IS HARDLY ANY GOOD MUSIC IN HUNTSVILLE! Encountering music in Huntsville that is good enough to offset the cost of supplying our stress-relieving liquids is, at least to me, very very rare. I would give that Zydeco band we saw at Humphrey's credit for being good enough to offset the cost of alcohol, but the boring, obnoxiously tame atmosphere created by the golden oldies that hang out at Humphrey's brought the mood down to a level that made it... eh, probably not worth the cost. If we lived in Boston... Austin, TX... Chicago.... New York... Seattle... hell, even Nashville or Atlanta, the saturation of good music would be enough for me to justify going out just about every Friday and every Saturday. But we don't. The "big" names that make it around here include not-so-greats as Kid Rock and..... Kid Rock. Sure, Big Spring Jam is fun every year... but it seems to be fun in that "Wow, this really shouldn't be happening here!" sort of way, and even at the Jam, I don't usually have trouble fitting all the bands I want to see into my schedule. In fact, it's usually really really easy, with a few hour-long gaps between shows. Regardless, that's just an annual occurance. I don't know of any local bands playing the circuit regularly that I'm scampering to go see. You might argue that the music shouldn't be measured by whether or not it's entertaining enough to offset the cost of alcohol. Ok, fair enough... I'm not an alcoholic (really!), and I can have a good time without drinking. In that case the only cost I would be out is the cover (if there is one), and I'm not even going to factor that in. Still, you have to be realistic -- If these bands aren't even impressive when you're inebriated..... case closed.
Conclusion :
It would seem as though I'm trying to say that we should NEVER go out. That's not really what I'm trying to say, because I realize that sometimes just it's nice to get out and have a few drinks with friends in a different environment than someone's apartment. Likewise, sometimes you just want to get out in public and just "act a fool" -- drinking up and acting stupid with your friends in public. I'm a big fan of public foolishness.
What I am proposing is that maybe we should be going less, when we have better reasons to. Some of us seem to feel compelled to go out for some reason... like as if we're missing out on something if we don't. Well, you know what we're missing... and you KNOW it's really not much. That's not going to change. To me, it would seem to make more sense if when we go out, we have an agenda --- i.e. a show that we all know that we want to see... Not just going downtown and wandering through all the different bars. Again, not because I don't have fun doing that with you guys, but because I know that I could have just as much fun just hanging out. If AC/DC is playing the Tavern-- we're so there. If DJ Dara and DJ Icey are spinning together at Vinyl -- we're so there. If we've been playing Risk and Playstation 2 for 3 weeks and are all sick of it -- let's get out for a change. It's Vigneshs' birthday and we want to embarass him by getting him obnoxiously drunk in public -- let's do it. If one of us has just heard that some local band is really good -- hell, i'll take a chance on it. But if you're not having fun going out and find your self repeatedly disatisfied with going out, then why are you? Noone should be going out just for the sake of going out.
Oh, and if we do go out just for the sake of going out.... (and if you agree with most of what I said above) then we don't have to worry about impressing the womens anymore, and are free to have more fun with it.
We must wear the kilts! We must have 80's night! We must have elaborate floor-clearing dance-offs! We must be FUNKYTRON. All of these are reasons in and of themselves for going out. Huntsville's social nightlife does leave a lot to be desired. You'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who lives here to disagree with you on that point. Still, it is what you make it... and if we're going to participate in it, we're going to have to just work that much harder to make it more interesting and worthwhile.
When you break it down, the motives for going out on the town (as opposed to just hanging out) include the following:
a) looking for women
b) getting drunk
c) listening to good music
theoretically, if a woman is found, drunkeness is achieved, and good music is heard -- it should be a perfect night, eh?
a + b + c = a good time
(of course, for high values of b, 1/2c should do just fine, and a can even be omitted.)
Here's the problem with that (for me at least):
a) I'm not looking for a one-night stand, and I don't think any of you guys are either. It's not really that easy to have a good conversation at a loud bar, and almost impossible at a dance club. Even if you do get 'play' while you're out (dancing or at a bar) it's impossible to completely ignore the fact that the entire interaction is superficial. You most likely haven't had any kind of conversation with this person, and probably won't. You've succeeded in filling variable 'a' of the above equation, but something is still missing. Uncle R summed this up pretty much perfectly last night when he leaned over to me at Sammy T's and said "There are a whole lot of hot girls here, but they seem to be missing something... like a soul."
Let's try to fix the problem with variable 'a' in the equation. (This is just for the single HPP members, I'll get to my take on you attached guys later):
I don't want just any girl. I don't want just any HOT girl. I don't want just any INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS girl. You want good, rewarding companionship, just like every other human being roaming this planet. I must realize that due to society's constructs, soon many of my friends will start doing the holy matrimony hustle and will ultimately have a family of their own. Therefore, I realized that the companionship that I recieve (and value very much) from my friends will not always be sufficient. Please don't get me wrong, I am not in any way belittling the value of friendship... it's everything to me. I'm just recognizing that platonic friends are not life-long partners -- they're not going to provide that lifetime of day in, day out, companionship. They're not going to be waiting for me at my house when I get home every day. I also realize that it seems the best way to achieve a lifetime of this rewarding companionship that I (and everyone else admittingly or not) is searching for seems to be marriage. Right? Given this and being that i am a heterosexual male, like all of us, I'm hoping to some day meet a female that will be able to provide this lifetime of rewarding companionship to me and I likewise to her. Now, the number of variables required for this interaction between two people to be benefitial (rewarding) for both people would be impossible to figure out. This is love; this is why love can be so confusing. This is what I'm looking for find in a girl, and I'm honestly not too interested in anything else. Now, it is confusing... it's almost impossible to actively SEARCH successfully for someone that meshes this well with you. This is why you hear so often that "you'll meet the girl of your dreams when you're not even looking for her" or some variation thereof. The hunt for love more often than not proves to be disappointing, frustrating, and depressing. And although I couldn't possibly write a formula for love, I can say that I don't believe going to a bar or club increases the probability of achieving it any more than going to the laundromat or stubbing your toe on the steps to your apartment. That's why when we go out, I'm not really looking to meet a girl -- and any interaction that does occur just seems worthless. That's not to say that this aspect of going out makes going out less enjoyable to me; It is to say that it is not necessary to me. What I'm proposing is that this aspect of the equation can (and should) be thrown completely out. It's no longer on my list of motives for going out. It can be fun, but its not as fun as say... ultimate. :) Going out with the intentions/hopes of meeting a girl can't do much more than lead to disappointment. If it happens to happen, cool!
As for you guys that do have girlfriends, variable 'a' probably SHOULDN'T apply to you, but I can see how it still could somewhat without being immoral. Casual flirting, especially when reciprocated, is fun -- and can be 'harmless' fun if you honestly see it as just that. This is not deniable... IT'S FUN! However, from my own past experience, I have noticed that casual flirting while attached doesn't, of course, lose that feeling of superficiality that makes me deem it an unfit motive for going out, but it does add a little bit of guilt to it after-the-fact, and the worthlessness of the whole activity is quadroopledoubled. In other words, I'm sure it wasn't really a motive in the first place for you attached guys, but if it was (in that harmless way,of course), I can see how this could possibly be a reason for that overall disatisfied feeling at the end of a night on the town that you guys (some vocally) seem to be experiencing. So again, 'a', in my mind, is a bad motive.
So, what I have left for my reasons for going out are :
b) getting drunk
c) listening to good music
Lets look at variable 'b' :
b) When analyzed by itself, apart from any other varibles, variable 'b' would only be a motive for complete dumbasses. The price of maintaining a good buzz out on the town is incredibly high. It's also a lot harder than doing so in the comfort of your own home. You have to fight through crowds of drunken men and women everytime you need another drink. So, it's much more difficult and much, much, much more expensive to get drunk when going out. I know what you're thinking though -- "You can't analyze that variable by itself, because we go out to get drunk and __________, or get drunk and ____________! Nobody goes out just to get drunk and then go home!" Well, remember though, we're thinking about reasons for going out as opposed to just hanging out... so I would only be able to fill in those blanks with the motives that I already listed. I've already gotten rid as variable 'a' as one of my motives, so what's left to fill in the blank is getting drunk and listening to good music. Now, this is great. I love it. It's fun. It's one of my favorite activities, and therefore, I can see why the rediculous price of getting a good buzz while listening to good, live music can be overlooked and does not reduce 'b' to being nothing but a bad motive like hunting for girls, however....
c) THERE IS HARDLY ANY GOOD MUSIC IN HUNTSVILLE! Encountering music in Huntsville that is good enough to offset the cost of supplying our stress-relieving liquids is, at least to me, very very rare. I would give that Zydeco band we saw at Humphrey's credit for being good enough to offset the cost of alcohol, but the boring, obnoxiously tame atmosphere created by the golden oldies that hang out at Humphrey's brought the mood down to a level that made it... eh, probably not worth the cost. If we lived in Boston... Austin, TX... Chicago.... New York... Seattle... hell, even Nashville or Atlanta, the saturation of good music would be enough for me to justify going out just about every Friday and every Saturday. But we don't. The "big" names that make it around here include not-so-greats as Kid Rock and..... Kid Rock. Sure, Big Spring Jam is fun every year... but it seems to be fun in that "Wow, this really shouldn't be happening here!" sort of way, and even at the Jam, I don't usually have trouble fitting all the bands I want to see into my schedule. In fact, it's usually really really easy, with a few hour-long gaps between shows. Regardless, that's just an annual occurance. I don't know of any local bands playing the circuit regularly that I'm scampering to go see. You might argue that the music shouldn't be measured by whether or not it's entertaining enough to offset the cost of alcohol. Ok, fair enough... I'm not an alcoholic (really!), and I can have a good time without drinking. In that case the only cost I would be out is the cover (if there is one), and I'm not even going to factor that in. Still, you have to be realistic -- If these bands aren't even impressive when you're inebriated..... case closed.
Conclusion :
It would seem as though I'm trying to say that we should NEVER go out. That's not really what I'm trying to say, because I realize that sometimes just it's nice to get out and have a few drinks with friends in a different environment than someone's apartment. Likewise, sometimes you just want to get out in public and just "act a fool" -- drinking up and acting stupid with your friends in public. I'm a big fan of public foolishness.
What I am proposing is that maybe we should be going less, when we have better reasons to. Some of us seem to feel compelled to go out for some reason... like as if we're missing out on something if we don't. Well, you know what we're missing... and you KNOW it's really not much. That's not going to change. To me, it would seem to make more sense if when we go out, we have an agenda --- i.e. a show that we all know that we want to see... Not just going downtown and wandering through all the different bars. Again, not because I don't have fun doing that with you guys, but because I know that I could have just as much fun just hanging out. If AC/DC is playing the Tavern-- we're so there. If DJ Dara and DJ Icey are spinning together at Vinyl -- we're so there. If we've been playing Risk and Playstation 2 for 3 weeks and are all sick of it -- let's get out for a change. It's Vigneshs' birthday and we want to embarass him by getting him obnoxiously drunk in public -- let's do it. If one of us has just heard that some local band is really good -- hell, i'll take a chance on it. But if you're not having fun going out and find your self repeatedly disatisfied with going out, then why are you? Noone should be going out just for the sake of going out.
Oh, and if we do go out just for the sake of going out.... (and if you agree with most of what I said above) then we don't have to worry about impressing the womens anymore, and are free to have more fun with it.
We must wear the kilts! We must have 80's night! We must have elaborate floor-clearing dance-offs! We must be FUNKYTRON. All of these are reasons in and of themselves for going out. Huntsville's social nightlife does leave a lot to be desired. You'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who lives here to disagree with you on that point. Still, it is what you make it... and if we're going to participate in it, we're going to have to just work that much harder to make it more interesting and worthwhile.
